Bicycle Kids Seat

Do you think is good writing?
Here’s my first paragraph of my story. I’m really critical of it so far. What do you think I should change? Thanks for your advice. It’s much appreciated.
First Day of school:
A warm late August morning in Lauderdale, Teresa Rivera, 14, White-Hispanic, big brown eyes and long purple tresses rode her bicycle to Washington High School’s front yard. She arrived at seven just as the homeroom bell rings. She parked her bike on the bicycle stands and made her way into Washington High. The halls were brimming with unknown faces, lost freshmen, and kids who looked way too old to be freshmen. This was the freshmen section of Washington High. She learned this at orientation early August. Her hopes of befriending upperclassmen were crushed since the school was divided in sections according to grade and all freshmen shared the same lunch. She drifted through the halls and entered a room 108, her homeroom class. She took a seat in the front row.
I think you should change your first sentence. It’s unbelievably cluttered and didn’t make me want to keep reading. The rest of it is pretty boring to me, but perhaps that’s because I’m not one for school settings. You also say freshman way too much in the paragraph. That’s bad. Other than that stuff though I didn’t find much wrong with it.
CoPilot Limo Bicycle Child Seat
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Skip Hop Zoo Lunchie Insulated Lunch Bag With friendly faces and matching zipper-pulls, Zoo Lunchies make lunchtime fun time! Sized just right for little kids, or a mom and baby on-the-go, these soft bags have a roomy main compartment that holds sandwiches, snacks, drinks and more. An insulated, wipe-clean interior keeps food and drinks cold, plus an inside mesh pocket holds lunch money, an ice pack or utensils. ZOO LUNCHIES coordinate … |
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Boon Squirt Baby Food Dispensing Spoon The Squirt baby food dispensing spoon allows for convenient feeding, one bite at a time. The easy-to-fill bulb holds up to 3 ounces of baby food and attaches firmly to the spoon end. Simply squeeze the bulb to dispense just the right amount of food. Squirt comes with a protective cover to seal food in and keep the spoon clean between feedings. By combining the spoon and food container into one pro… |
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Baby Einstein – Baby Van Gogh – World of Colors $17.00 The Baby Einstein Company’s “video board books” were designed as music-focused developmental tools to stimulate babies’ brains (prompted by research proving that exposure to classical melodies can improve verbal ability, spatial intelligence, creativity, and memory in youngsters). Now the company is expanding into other art forms, including color and art. The idea remains the same–taking bold… |
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Baby Einstein – Meet the Orchestra – First Instruments $6.25 Adults may think it’s too early to teach a baby the difference between a trumpet and a bugle, but Baby Einstein: Meet the Orchestra–First Instruments entertains children with its next music installment. Relying on its tried-and-true formula of bright colors, quick-paced format, and almost no dialogue (except to repeat names and identify groups by section: brass, woodwinds, strings, and so forth),… |
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Allen Tension Bar Bicycle Cross-Bar Adaptor $12.93 Adaptor bar adds a top tube to non-conventional frames. Internal spring maintains constant tension. Quickly attaches to wide range of frame styles. Plastic coated hooks protect your bicycles finish…. |
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Yakima Tube Top Frame Adapter The Yakima Tube Top adapts bike frames without top tubes so they fit Yakima ROC or GetAway bike mounts. It’s a clever little invention! The Tube Top creates a top tube for any bike that doesn’t have one (children’s, women’s or Y-frame style bikes)…. |
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Sunshine Kids Cool Shade For Car Window, Black $3.99 Sunshine Kids Cool Shade For Car Window – BlackWrapped around a foam core, Cool Shade rolls onto a window in seconds with no creases, for a smooth, wrinkle-free look. Providing year-round protection from the sun’s light and glare, it helps car windows filter both UVA and UVB rays for lower car temperature. Adheres by static cling. Removable and reusable.Features include: •PVC tinted film is e… |
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Sunshine Kids Sure Steps Safety Strap, Blue $5.08 Our comfortable security harness has a 4″ strap that allows your toddler freedom to explore while still remaining close to you. Slips on easily and fastens in the back for easy adjusting. The wrist strip can also be used separately. Lightweight and washable.Features: •Fits larger kids too, and over winter clothing•Swivel clip prevents strap tangles•Easy to clean… |
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Skip Hop Zoo Pack Little Kid Backpack The Zoo Pack backpacks are perfect for school, traveling, and everyday.The cute animals bring fun and function together in one item. It has roomy compartments with an insulated pouch for snacks. This backpack is appropriate for 3 and up. It has an easy to clean lining…. |
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BABYBJÖRN Toilet Trainer When it’s time to move up from the potty chair to the regular toilet, the BabyBjorn Toilet Trainer makes the adjustment a whole lot easier. It fits over the toilet seat so that the child can sit securely and comfortably, and it’s so easy to use that children can put it on and take it off all by themselves, making potty training a lot less intimidating…. |